


Becoming Turian

by Ryuko_Shepard8



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2018-08-30 13:54:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8535772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryuko_Shepard8/pseuds/Ryuko_Shepard8
Summary: After an accidental bonding, Shepard and Garrus are stuck together. This isn't all that bad, but neither of them know a thing about each other's culture, so Shepard steps up and begins to change that. From religion to customs, she tries her hardest to become turian, while gaining feeling for her special turian in the process.





	1. Chapter 1

_I got the prompt for_ this _story from the Mas Effect kink meme. It was on page 3 and I just couldn't turn the story down. Look for fem!Shep/Garrus- how to be turian_

She could already hear the loud pounding music before she walked into the club and when those large grey doors slid open, she could feel it. She could feel the excitement, happiness, and sorrow, all of which came from winning the war. The club reeked of sweat and hard alcohol and another putrid smell that she couldn't quite put her finger on. This was the most lively she'd ever seen this place and she was happy to say that the primary reason was because of her.

She spotted her crew (or what was left of it) out on the dance floor. Most of them were already as drunk as they possibly could be just because the Reaper threat was over. They mingled more than what she was used to seeing, now that the risk of them dying on the Normandy was slightly slimmed, she supposed they would have time to make friends or find love. She wondered if she had time for that.

Garrus waved her over from the bar, where he sat next to Tali. She loved seeing that quarian drunk, it made her smile.

"So, you come here often?" he leaned onto the side of the bar, trying to make himself look as cool as possible. She never really paid attention to his flirting, he did it so often that she never took him serious about it. It was pretty lame anyways.

"Oh ya know, in between saving the galaxy and trying to convince a dumb council, I like to come here to relax," she slid onto the barstool and smirked. Often times she believed that it was best to play along with it.

He raised his glass to the air, "I can drink to that!"

"Aye, hit me with something hard!" she slammed the palm of her hand against the metal of the bar to gain the Turian bartender's attention. He didn't seem quite phased by her rudeness, in fact he seemed rather happy that she decided to choose him to make the drink instead of anyone else.

"Anything for The Saviour of the Galaxy. Let me whip you up something special," she watched as he began to make her drink. It was almost like he was putting on a performance for her, with how he tossed the bottles in the air and caught them behind his back with ease.

"Bravo!" she cheered while clapping.

He slid the drink across the bar to her, a smirk of accomplishment on his face, "If this doesn't knock you onto that pretty little ass of yours then I don't know what will."

Shepard looked down at the brownish-green drink that sat in front of her. When she pressed it up to her lips she could feel the strong smell of it burning into her nostrils. She tipped her head back and let it slide down her throat. It wasn't a smooth run though, she nearly coughed it back up from the burning sensation.

"Hit me with another" she slurred. He was right, it did hit hard, and before she even knew what was happening, she could feel the room beginning to turn.

"Tough crowd, eh?"

He gave her drink after drink. They were all different in some way whether it was taste, smell, color, or how hard it hit her, none were identical. They were all free which meant that she didn't have to hold back, which was amazing news for her. She needed a way to make this day even better.

Before she knew what was happening she was out on the crowded dance floor. She was with someone, but she didn't know who. He had his hands wrapped around her waist and they danced slowly to the fast paced beat. He would occasionally lean down and whisper things into her ear. His voice was deep, intoxicating, it made her knees wobble slightly, even if she couldn't exactly understand what he was saying.

The colors from the flashing lights began to contrast together. The music seemed to be getting louder and louder every second. She could barely keep herself up, if it weren't for the large male behind her, she would've long since fallen.

"Let me take you back to my room," he nuzzled his forehead against her neck with a soft purr. This act alone sent shivers of excitement down her spine.

"Y-yeah, ok!" Jane barely knew why she was agreeing. She didn't even know who this person was, yet she still accepted his invitation. This was her night to have as much fun as she wanted.

He led her out of the club and down the hall. Her head was rested snuggly on his chest and he kept an arms wrapped tight around her waist. She stumbled every so often when she tried to walk and nearly tipped over when she felt the room turning.

When the door to the hotel room opened he picked her up and slung her over his shoulder. She nearly died of laughter when he slammed her down on the bed and began to trail kisses down her neck and stomach.

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

Jane was startled awake by the loud beeping of her omni-tool alarm. She groaned and rolled over, not wanting to get up, but knowing that if she stayed in bed any longer, she wouldn't be able to get rid of her headache.

Her toes curled when they touched the could floor. She took slow, silent steps to the bathroom. She didn't want to wake up her lover from the night before, she needed a bit of time to get herself ready before she broke it off.

She closed the bathroom door and flicked on the light. Thankfully, they were extremely dim, barely illuminating the entire room, any brighter would've made her splitting headache even worse.

When she looked at herself in the mirror, she could tell that it was a rough night. The little bit of clothing that she was wearing was ripped and tattered. Her hair stood in many places. Her body was covered in multiple purple and blue bruises and she had a few claw like scars on her thighs.

She had a minor rash between her thighs that turned her once pale skin a bright red. She tilted her head to the side and inspected the bite wound. It was rather deep and from what she could conclude, it bled a lot.

After splashing a bit of water on her face, she slapped her cheeks lightly to assure that she was awake. With a deep breath, she opened the door and stepped out into the hotel room once more, ready to confront the problem.

She was greeted by the large male sitting up straight, the sheets draped over his bare lap. She took the time to inspect his body. He most definitely was not a human. He was far too tall and his scaly skin was a mixture of greys. Each varying from darkest to lightest. He was turian. She groaned when she realized that her first experience with one of his species was probably some awkward drunken interspecies thing.

When he turned to look at her, she was literally frozen in place by his icy, blue eyes. The healed scars on the side of his face was a dead give away. She gulped down the saliva from her now dry mouth. Garrus.

"Good morning, Jane,"

"G-Garrus!" she didn't know what to say, or how to respond to this situation, "I-I didn't know it was you! I...I don't know what to s-say!"

"Shepard, relax. It was an accident, I understand. We can just forget this ever happened, but might I mention, you were amazing last night," Leave it to Garrus to joke about things, even in the most awkward of moments.

"Sadly, I don't remember any of it. You must've been pretty rough though, you bit my neck pretty bad,"

He tensed. He didn't speak or even look at her. His hands began to tremble and his mandibles pressed against his face while his brow plates furrowed.

"I-I bit your neck?"

She shrugged and playfully hit his shoulder, "Yeah, but don't worry about it, it's nothing a little medi-gel can't fix!"

Suddenly, he placed both of his taloned hands on her shoulder and looked deep into her eyes. She could see a hint of sadness and regret in them as he sighed and tried to think of the words.

"Jane," he inhaled sharply, "I am so so sorry."

"Garrus, calm down! It's just a little bite. What's the matter with you?"

"Y-you're mine now. We're bonded,"

"Bonded?"

"In a human way it would be like we're married, except Turians believe that it's wrong to leave your bondmate, so there is no divorce,"

She rubbed the bite wound on her neck, "I-I know medi-gel won't heal it, but I'll call Dr. Chakwas up and ask her to remove the scars for me. She's done it before, that'll fix this right?"

"I wish, but when Turians are bonding, they release bonding pheromones. They're not noticeable to human or asari noses, but Turians, Krogan, and Drell can smell it,"

"I can't believe this, Garrus, I'm so sorry," she hung her head down in sadness, "This wasn't supposed to happen."

He pulled her into his arms, using his mouth plates to attempt to kiss her forehead in a comforting manner, "It's my fault. I invited you up, I bonded with you."

"I-I guess we can make this work, I mean you are my best friend,"

"Yeah, we can do this, Shepard, I swear,"


	2. Chapter 2

She looked down at her attire. An extremely formal dress, with dark colors and flats. Something she would never wear on a regular day, but today was different. Today she had to get acceptance.

She didn't know much about Garrus' father, Hell he hardly ever mentioned the man, but now she had to speak to him. All she knew was that he was all about rules, he hated spectres, he believed they had too much power. Good news for her, right?

Garrus decided that he wouldn't come along for their first meeting, he believed that he would interfere, but Jane wanted nothing more than for him to be with her. She'd never been in a relationship so serious that she'd actually have to meet the parents before, even if it was accidental, and she had to gain his approval. All she wanted was Garrus by her side, to comfort her when she needed it, that's what he'd always done for her. She was doing this for him though, by Turian clan law he she had to be approved. If things went wrong, he could be exiled, that's the last thing he wanted.

He reassured her. He helped her. He was there when nobody else was. At times, she believed that he was all she had left in this galaxy, and she loved the thought of it.

"You look nice," Garrus stood at the entrance of her cabin, waiting for her to come out. Her cheeks flushed a bit, she wasn't exactly prepared for him to see her yet, but it still made her happy.

"I've got to look my best," she didn't know what else to say. For some reason, the words were stuck in her throat and she was barely able to groan them out so they sounded natural.

He reached his hand out and placed it on her neck. Despite the warmth of his hand, the action still have her goosebumps and made her entire body shiver.

"Your scar is healing," Disappointment was heavy on his voice as he spoke these words out. It was almost hard not to take notice of.

"Don't worry, Garrus, I'm sure I still smell like you,"

He crouched over a bit and sniffed her hair. Jane knew that his entire species was tall, but the fact that he had to do this, made her feel a bit embarrassed. It wasn't really until now that she noticed that he was literally always towering over her.

While he sniffed her hair, he kept a hand wrapped tight around her waist to keep her close. He took notice of how small her waist was, yet it was still so supportive. Not Turian, but almost better.

Her chest was pressed against his carapace. Spirits, he was sniffing her too long, but he didn't want to stop. Her scent was intoxicating. Maybe it was the mix of his pheromones and her natural feminine smell that was sending him over edge, he couldn't pinpoint it though.

"You done yet?" she chuckled nervously while his arms stayed wrapped tight around her. He only responded with a slight growl. Not yet. He didn't want to let go yet.

Jane's heart began to pound out of her chest, she had never been this close to Garrus before for such a long period of time, and now that she was here, she'd just realized how nice it felt.

He was well built by Turian standards, so every part of him was rough and hard, except his neck. Slowly, she reached a hand up and stroked the pale blue skin. She was always so curious as to what it felt like, now was the best opportunity. It was smooth and tender under her finger tips, and while she stroked it, his entire body tensed.

He pulled away quickly, his mandible fluttering slightly from nervousness. He didn't look her in the eye, his head stayed tilted to the side while he attempted to keep a strong face.

"S-sorry, I got carried away," he murmured under his breath. She chuckled a bit to show that it was alright, but on the inside, she was having a system overload. Alarms were setting off and everything was overheating. He sure did have an effect on her. A mass effect.

She brushed passed him and down the elevator. They were already docked on the citadel and that little interaction they had outside her cabin threw her time off a bit. The last thing she wanted was to be late meeting the other Mr. Vakarian.

He was supposed to meet her at a restaurant. Not one of the best, but somewhere they could talk normally.

Her hands were placed firmly in her lap. She played with her thumbs to keep from being nervous, despite the fact that her palms still sweated intensely.

She looked around the area trying to find something to keep her mind off the inevitable, but there was nothing knew to look at. The restaurant was rather plain. Mainly Asari workers who dressed similar and wore the same make up.

"Shepard?"

She nearly jumped out of her seat, but she kept her composure. She turned her head and stood from her chair to look at the speaker.

Tall. Male. Turian. He looked almost exactly like Garrus, with only a few minor differences. His plates were a bit darker and his eyes were a light green, rather than that same icy blue Garrus had. He and Garrus had similar clan markings, the difference being that he kept his white rather than choosing unusual color like Garrus did.

He stood proud, despite him literally saying one word to her. She could already feel herself beginning to sweat, just from the way he appeared to be glaring at the mark on her neck.

"Th-that'd be me," she stuttered a bit when she spoke, grimacing at herself a bit when she realized how weak she sounded. Turian culture was based around strength, the stronger you were, the more respect you got.

"Druius Vakarian. C-Sec," his voice was deep and a bit hollow, almost as if he didn't have emotions at all. She expected that from someone who just found out his only son married the human woman who was known for blowing just about everything she touched, "I've heard a lot about you."

"Good things, I hope,"

"No," the word was blunt and came out with a bit of anger. Then his face softened a little, and he gave her a smirk, she could see where Garrus got that same facial expression from, "Good doesn't even begin to cover the things I've heard. Amazing, might just though. I just never took you as the type of person to want to be with a Turian."

Her cheeks flushed a bit and she nearly screamed out from excitement, "It's a long story, sir."

"I have time,"

"Well you see-" she went over everything. Not leaving out a single detail and he listened, hanging on to every word.

"Listen Shepard- Jane if I may," she nodded, "there's no way to undo a bonding, it's permanent, but if you want my approval then you have to prove that you're willing to make the sacrifices. Will you be ready to join the Vakarian Clan?"

"I won't let you down,"


	3. Chapter 3

_Human Culture_

He felt a bit embarrassed when he typed it into the search bar. He wanted to know more about Shepard's culture and her people. As a spectre, she knew just about everything there was to know about Turians, maybe even more than he did. He didn't exactly know much about about humans. Aside from their inability to eat his food and the color of their blood.

Human history was splattered with war and blood. It wasn't very often that something good ever happened. Aside from their first time in space, but even that was a form of competition.

Shepard was born in raised out in space, so knowing much about Earth wasn't exactly what he needed. He needed to know more about what they celebrated and believed in, but even that was hard.

There were so many religions, so many different cultures, depending on where you lived and often times, what you looked like. Shepard didn't seem very religious, she rarely ever mentioned any form of creator, aside from the occasional "Oh my God".

Humans celebrated a holiday called a birthday. It was to celebrate the day that they were conceived. Turians did something similar to this, but it wasn't for every year. It was primarily for when they turned 15, the legal age to join the military.

Shepard was born on April 11, it wasn't very hard to find that out. The moment he typed the letter 's' into the search bar, he was bombarded with fan sites filled with everything you could ever know about Shepard. Some things, he were surprised people sven knew.

Her birthday was soon approaching. He needed to time study and plan. He just wanted to put in as much effort as she did. He still found the concept of a birthday rather strange and unnecessary, but it seemed rather important.

Cake. That was a very big part of the party. He didn't know why he would need such a thing to celebrate, but he supposed it was important as well as candles. The candles were what you blew out to make a wish, you got one every year. Turians rarely ever wishes for things. It made them appear greedy and selfish, they were supposed to be selfless. Put others needs before yours and the spirits will repay you. It was almost like the human aspect of karma.

Shepard stayed up in her cabin. Rubbing the spot where she was bitten. It no longer ached and burned, but it was still awfully visible. She stared at the calendar on her omni-tool. Three more days, she thought to herself. Time passed so quickly, she hardly even recalled it being April.

She flopped down on the bed, breathing out a sigh. Her lips pursed as she continued to stare at her now beeping omni-tool.

_Garrus._ He wanted to meet with her on her birthday. It made her cheeks flush. How didn't he even know what a birthday was? Last she checked, Garrus was absolutely ignorant when it came to human culture. He nearly passed out when she saw her cut her hair because he believed she was cutting off her fringe.

_Just three more days._

It seems as though the more you wait for something, the longer it takes to come. She was so anxious and barely had things to do to occupy herself. No more reapers and very few new Cerberus take out missions to do. She was beginning to get bored.

Garrus constantly brushed off her many attempts to find out what her little birthday surprise was. I mean seriously, how long does it take to do calibrations?

"Happy birthday, commander," Joker woke her up over the comm by shouting. If this were any other occasional she would've been angry enough to march down to the bridge and kick his ass, but today, Garrus had a surprise for her.

The door to her room chimed and she quickly stood from her bed. So soon? She wasn't even dressed or prepared. Her room was filthy. She nearly tripped over her pile of datapads that she'd left in the floor while trying to run to the bathroom to fix her mess of hair.

He pinged again. He was getting impatient. Why did she care how she looked around him so suddenly? She and Garrus we're close enough before the whole bonding thing that he was able to see her like this on a daily basis.

She opened the door and smiled up at him. His face was filled with reassurance.

"I was starting to worry when it took you a moment to open the door," he stated jokingly.

She let out a nervous chuckle and gestured for him to come in, "Just take a seat. Don't mind the mess."

"Do I ever?"

She resisted the urge to violently punch him in the scared side of his face, but for some reason, she held back. She wanted to appear even the least bit feminine to him. But why?

He sat down on the couch and relaxed. He always say with his legs spread open and his body leaned back, well at least around her he did.

She sat beside him. Her back was perfectly straight and she looked a bit too uptight around him. Almost like she were nervous.

"Happy birthday, Shepard," Garrus said, then he draped and arm over her shoulders. He didn't take his armor off sadly, but the feeling of the cold metal against her was almost soothing, "There wasn't much to a human birthday sadly. But I did hear about cake. It took me a while to find one, but it should be delivered soon."

"Garrus, you bought me a c-"

"Listen, Jane, while ime here, I want to talk about things that have been on my mind, if that's ok with you?"

She nodded slowly. It was very rare when Garrus got serious like this and actually meant it. It made her worry. What if she did something wrong? What if he found someone else? Why did these thoughts nearly make her heart jump out of her chest?

"Am I your boyfriend?"

"Well yes, I think so," she was taken back by the question, expecting something entirely different.

"Well I don't want to be," he glared over at her with those icy blue eyes and her heart shattered into a million pieces, "I need to be something more than that to you."

She sighed out in relief, "Garrus, you mean you want to be my...husband?"

He nodded slowly and grunted in response. She felt her heart slowly begin to rebuild itself and begin to throb with anticipation. Her mouth went dry as she thought things over. Did she feel that way about him?

"I-I mean I do have feelings for you Shepard, b-but it's uh… It's not like that! It's uh...Turian thing! I...I just want to make sure that no other human can-"

Even she was taken a bit by surprise by what she did. Her lips pressed against his, quickly so that he wouldn't have time to reject. He was quickly silenced by the sudden gesture, but even then his mind was racing.

What would happen if he screwed this up? He didn't want to do any wrong. His body tenses while he let her lips work their magic. Soft and flexible. He was almost memorized.

Slowly, so not to do anything wrong, he wrapped an arm around her waist.


	4. Chapter 4

He left Shepard's cabin a nervous mess. After they broke the kiss he didn't know what to do or say. They just stared at each other, their eyes locked I'm a lustful gaze.

"I-i think I hear some calibrations calling," he stuttered out as he stood quickly and ran from the room.

He came into the room prepared to be smooth and seductive, but instead he asked her to marry him and left out a blushing idiot. He sighed when he was back on the crew deck, his back pressed firmly against the door of the main battery.

"I'm such an idiot," he groaned, but the feeling of Shepard's waist was still drilled in his brain.

The night he spent with Shepard was the best night of his life. How did he remember it? Well he was completely sober the entire time.

He was sober at the bar, on the dance floor, when he was walking her to the hotel room he bought beforehand. Garrus was 100% sober when he leaned over Shepard's drunk sleeping body and sunk his teeth into the side of her neck.

It was no accident. He knew what he'd done and now he was just playing along with it like it was some sort of sick game. He felt like a horrible excuse for a turian, what he did was wrong on so many levels, but he needed Shepard.

He craved her everyday and every night. He dreamt of her, though of her. She was always on his mind. It was unhealthy and he was too nervous to tell her a thing. He had planned the whole scenario in his head. He knew Jane intended to get extremely drunk after beating the reapers, she always got drunk after a huge accomplishment. After defeating saren, after the collector base, she said it made her feel even more accomplished.

"Let's go up to my room," he suggested with a purr and a nuzzle against her neck.

She let out another drunk chuckle, nearly stumbling and falling if it weren't for him holding her upright, "O...OK!"

He felt alarms going off in his head as he walked back with her into the hotel room, but he didn't stop himself. He continued to help her keep herself upright while they walked to his room and when he got there, he lost control.

He picked her up and threw her onto the bed, she giggled and slurred out a few drunken words. It wasn't the best reaction, but anything was better than her saying no to him.

He ran his tongue up and down the smooth skin of her neck, taking the time to inhale her scent. She had such a feminine smell if you could get past the military brand body soap and shampoo smell. She moaned and bawled her fist every time he ran his rough tongue up and nibbled on the side of her neck.

Slowly, so not to crush her with all of his weight, he crawled on top of her more. Her mouth was agape and the smell of alcohol was hard not to notice, but he didn't care. He placed his mouth plates against her lips. Turians didn't kiss like this, due to their lack of lips, but he wanted this experience to be as close to home as he could possibly make it for her, even if it mean going into foreign territories with foreplay.

He unzipped her skin tight cocktail dress and pulled it off, throwing it somewhere across the room. His mandibles fluttered when he saw what was underneath. Black, lacy, lingerie. He supposed that she'd planned ahead in case something like this happened, and he was happy to say he was the one to see it.

Jane arched her back for him so he could unclasp her bra, she shrugged the straps off her shoulders and he ripped it off, beginning to get rather rough with what he was doing.

He places one if the the buds into his mouth and started to suck hard, swirling his tongue around it. She moaned and panted from the simple foreplay, placing her hand on the back of his head and pulling his fringe. He knew she had no idea what she was doing, but it felt amazing for him.

He kissed down her stomach, stopping occasionally to bite a few spots before reaching her panties. With little time to work, he ripped them off with his sharp claws and threw the remains elsewhere.

Garrus was quick to place his tongue on the wet slit, trying hard to savor her sweet taste. She moaned and arched her hips up to his mouth, making him only wish to do it more, but he knew his tongue wasn't going to be enough.

He pulled off all of his clothes quickly and nuzzled his face back into the crook of her neck. He felt his lower plates shifting between his legs, which was his cue to start.

He dug his talons into her thighs, squeezing hard to keep her in place, and thrust in quickly. She screamed out and curled her toes, making him smile with satisfaction. She was his now.

Garrus didn't take any time thrusting into her. The bed shook and the sound of the headboard hitting against the wall was hard to her over her moans and mewls. He released her thighs and placed his talons onto her his, to arch her hips up into a better position.

"That feels good~" she moaned out, her eyes half lidded and her hands still digging into the end bed sheets for dear life.

He started to grunt out, feeling his release coming soon, but not before Shepard. He began to thrust harder, reaching a talon down he began to quickly rub her clit. This action alone made her moans grow louder and her eyes open completely from the sudden pleasure.

He continued at this pace until her body tensed, she released a moan and her toes curled even more. Her fist clenched and then she went limp. She'd fallen asleep after cumming.

He decided against finishing while she was in this state, making sure to finish himself off with his hand and the thought of her body later.

Her lips parted and she began to pant. He couldn't hold himself back any longer while watching her supple chest rise and fall. He leaned down and scraped his teeth against her neck, looking for a soft spot where the skin would give away like all turians had. When he couldn't find one he sighed and merely sunk his teeth in.

Jane arched her body up, noises of pain escaped her lips as she tried to struggle away, but he held her down and let them go deeper in.

He pulled away. Her blood soaked her shoulder and his lips. She didn't look at him, she just tilted her head and fell back asleep. Like nothing had ever happened.


	5. Chapter 5

"Garrus, is this necessary?" She asked while looking down at her dress. Black and skin tight, just the way she remembered the first time she wore it with Kasumi.

"It's been awhile since we had a date of sorts, I just thought since we're official, we should try it,"

She smiled at his attempt to be romantic. It made her happy, but her lack of makeup was making her uneasy, she felt a bit naked in the dress without it. Sadly, her skills with mascara and lip gloss were nothing compared to her ability to snipe an enemy from a long distance.

Kasumi. If anyone was a beast with makeup, it was her. She'd done her hair and makeup on the mission to get the gray box and she surely knew she could do it now, as a favor.

"I'm gonna be down in the crew deck, OK?" She said and he merely nodded from his spot on her leather couch.

Kasumi was making drinks when she stepped into the lounge. It was rare when Shepard saw her drink them, but she usually gave them to members of the crew. She was usually against this type of thing, but now she had no reason to. As of now, they weren't doing anything super important, so she felt as though it was OK to let be a little loose.

"Shepard!" Kasumi called when she noticed her, "You look hot! Take a seat, I have just the drink for you!"

"I'm not really here for drinks," she spoke, but still decided to take a seat.

Kasumi slid a drink across the bar. She could smell it before she even saw it, the smell burned her nostrils and made her grimace. It was that same greenish brown drink that was given to her the night she and Garrus bonded. It was the one that got her drunk enough to forget her own limits.

"Not funny, Kasumi, I'm never drinking one of those again, " she groaned out.

"But drunk Shepard is fun Shepard," she said jokingly, "And the things you did with Garrus, I'm proud to say I saw that!"

"What? My dancing?"

"No, the sex!" She replied happily, almost as if she hadn't said such a strange thing.

Shepard's cheeks flushed at the thought, "So, you saw it all?"

"Yep," she nodded and took a sip of the drink, coughed. Shepard chuckled, she just couldn't handle her liquor, "I'm anyways cloaked and walking behind you when you get drunk. It makes for some of the best laughs."

"I-I didn't….do anything weird right?" She asked, curious as to what actually happened that night.

Kasumi placed a finger up to her lips, "I don't think you're ready to know what **really** happened."

Shepard was extremely confused by Kasumi's sudden strange behavior, but then again, everything Kasumi did was a bit weird at times.

She stood from the bar stool and left, not even wanting to get her makeup done anymore. She just needed a bit of time to think about what happened. She could barely remember that night, and now that she was thinking about it, she wished that she could. Anything could've happened and she stood oblivious to it the entire time.

"Ready to go Shepard?" The sound of Garrus' voice snapped her back into reality, she was walking aimlessly around the mess hall and she didn't even notice.

She looked back at the male. Tall, strong, funny. He had a smile on his face and he wasn't even wearing his visor or armor for the date. It made her feel a hit special.

"Y-yeah," she stuttered and leaned into him when her wrapped his arm around hers.

They went to a restaurant. Somewhere expensive and beautiful for sure. The lighting was dim which set a good mood for the two.

"It's nice to finally spend some alone time with you, Jane," he whispered, his deep voice sending shivers down her spine.

"I can say the same," her head tilted to the side when she felt him place a talon over her hand. She wasn't used to such sudden gestures.

"Listen, I just have to say it," he held his breath for a moment then spoke again. His eyes locked with hers, "This bonding is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me and it's because I'm bonded with you, Jane. I've never loved a woman the way that I loved you. I know that everything that happened may seem like something bad now, but I hope that someday you can see that this was an amazing accident, just like I did."

She couldn't speak. All words were caught in her throat. How was she supposed to respond when someone she cared about so much confessed their undying love to her. She admitted that the kiss was rather sudden, but it was the mood. She didn't know what her body was making her do, and now, she sort of felt like she was supposed to do it again.

"Garrus, do you remember everything that happened the night we bonded?"

He nodded, "I was drunk, but not as drunk as you were."

"Then you should remember biting me right? When I showed you the bite you seemed surprised the morning after, but now you're saying you remember everything, "

"Shepard, the Turians are different than the humans when it comes to how memories work," he stated and pulled his hand away from hers.

"Yeah, I suppose," she sighed out, and looked down.

"Kasumi, I want you to tell me everything that you saw the night Garrus bonded with me," she slammed both hands down on the bar and orders out at the confused thief. She'd just left her date with Garrus, ending it off with a light kiss against his mandible.

"What's with the sudden attitude change?" She asked with a chuckle and Shepard sighed out.

"It's been itching at the back of my head for so long now, I need you to tell me exactly what happened. Please Kasumi, " she begged.

Kasumi pulled up her omni-tool with a smirk, "Why tell you, when I can show you?"


	6. Chapter 6

Shocked couldn't even begin to describe how she felt while watching the vid of her and Garrus. She wasn't exactly sure what it looked like when a Turian was drunk, but he surely had a clear mind when he did the things that he did.

When his teeth sunk into the side of her neck in the vid, her scare burned. Her hands bawled into fist on, and she held back the urge to punch Kasumi right then and there. But Kasumi wasn't who she should be angry at, she stormed out of the lounge, the sounds of her heels clicking against the metal floor of the Normandy only making her even angrier.

Days passed and Garrus was beginning to feel a bit of tension between them. She wasn't responding to any messages and she changed the code to her room, so he wasn't able to get in.

He was never able to speak to her about this problem though, she neglected to even attempt to speak to him. She was always or just not in the talking mood, but he saw that look in her eyes. She was furious. He knew that look by heart and most definitely took note that if she was giving you that evil glare, it's best to be scared. But what did he do?

Shepard sighed. Giving Garrus the silent treatment wasn't easy. He always looked so heartbroken when she refused to give him the time of day, but she was not going to give in so easily. She was not going to let his piercing eyes and charming smile get the best of her. He lied to her, betrayed her, she couldn't just forgive him so easily.

"Hey, I've got a ship and a mate, and I only brought one of them along today, " she grimaced at that same pickup line that she knew was older than her. She was at the club again, where it all started, sitting on a barstool, attempting to drink her problems away. But the annoying person standing next to her, slurring out horrible pickup lines, was killing the vibe.

"I think you should go now!" A deep voice cut through the music and directed the sharp fire straight to the human.

"Says who?" He chuckled, spilling some of his drink against the bar.

She looked up at her savior. A tall, slender Turian with the pretties clan markings she'd ever seen. A bright red that just complemented the brown coloration of his plating.

"Her bondmate says so," he growled a bit after saying this, sending shivers down her spine.

The man was quick to leave. Not even caring enjoy to grab the drink that got him into this situation.

"Sorry about saying that whole bondmate thing, I hope your real mate isn't anyone around here," she finally realized where she knew this Turian from. He was the exact same one who'd served her on her night with Garrus.

"My bondmate...oh, yeah," she sighed out.

"Things not going well with him?"

She shook her head and head and he slid a drink across the counter. She flinched, after the night she had, she made a promise to never accept a drink from him again.

"Don't worry Shepard, this is the weakest drink I can make," he assured while cleaning out some glasses.

Shepard took a small sip. The sweet smell quickly shot up her nostrils and the taste was even sweeter. It made her tongue tingle for another sip, which she willingly granted to it.

"Turians aren't the easiest species to get along with, we know that, but if you maybe give him a chance he'll-"

"What he did was unforgivable!" She grunted, "I wouldn't even have a bondmate of he'd just not done that stupid thing!"

"I see,"

She sighed and set the now empty glass against the bar once more, "I'm sorry, I've gotten too upset at you. I never even asked your name."

"Krillik,"

Shepard hadn't had so much fun with one person in such a long time. He was nice company, but he didn't hit on her the entire night. It wasn't a bad thing it was just abnormal to her. She wasn't used to just a friendly type of thing and as of now, with him, she didn't want it.

She reached her hand across the bar and placed it on his. His entire body tensed and he looked up at her, his fiery red eyes made her whole body feel hot, but he pulled away. He ripped his hand out from beneath hers and shoved it into his pocket.

"I-I'm sorry it's just your scent. The smell of your mate is so strong on you, I can't do this with you,"

Her head hung low and she could feel the rough plating of his talon beneath her cheek. He was trying to comfort her, and make her feel better. She knew it was just to sugar coat the rejection, but she needed the sweetness.

"Just for tonight?" His voice was deep and as smooth as butter, "I'm sure that won't be a problem for me."

Her words caught in her throat. Another move out of pity for turning her down. She wanted to scream out yes to him. To jump into his arms and allow him to carry her to his room to do unspeakable things with her, but she couldn't. He pitied her. He saw her as some pathetic person who would be depressed over something silly like this. So, with a bit of force, she shook her head and pushed his hands away.

"I don't want your pity,"

"Not pity," he stated, "but more of a lifelong admiration and the ability to block out the smell of the man who hurt you."

Her lips couldn't help, but it curve into a smile, "I thought it was bad to sleep with a bonded woman."

"By Turian standards you'd be seen as a whore," he shrugged his shoulders, "But I don't think you care about a few backwards glances from some Turian woman."

"Not in the slightest," she got on her knees on the stool and leaned over the bar. Placing a gentle kiss against his mouthplates.

She could tell he'd been with humans before, because of he simply melted into the kiss. His tongue found a way to slither into her mouth. The rough dry muscle was quick to explore the place that was coated in saliva. His tongue constantly scraping against hers, making her moan.

When she pulled away, she was at a kiss for breath. Shepard was rather ashamed of herself for being so tired from one little kiss, but he deserved the recognition.

"I've wanted to do this for three while years Shepard!" He grunted into her ear, nibbling on it a bit afterwords, "I'll make you feel so good, you won't be able to walk."


	7. Chapter 7

"I always thought houses on the citadel were extremely expensive, how do you afford it?" She asked while looking around the apartment. It was properly furnished with a great view of the citadel below.

Cars zoomed by, their lights adding an extra bit of glimmer to the never sleeping city beneath them. It was breathtaking, all the times she visited this exact same space station, and she'd never seen a thing like this.

Her hands were pressed firmly against the glass, it was cold against her fingertips, but she didn't care. She loved it, she loved the way this whole city looked.

A warm talon wrapped around her waist and pulled her into a firm chest. She was engulfed in the smell of alcohol that burned his nostrils, it was Krillik, she'd literally forgotten what she'd even gave here for.

"The view is nice, huh?" He licked the side of her ear, purring softly, "but I didn't bring you here just to show you the sky."

She giggled and looked up at him, his red eyes once again sending heat through her body, "I know, I-it's just so nice," she stuttered nervously.

Jane didn't understand what was wrong with her. This Turian was doing new things to her, the feeling she was getting was rather fresh. In the heat of the moment, she'd completely forgotten about Garrus.

"The view in the bedroom is ten times better," he motioned up the stairs and she smirked a little.

Her heels clicked with each step she took. She took this time to continue admiring the decoration. He had a nice taste, but very few photos. The one that caught her eye the most, was the photo of Krillik and a lovely Turian woman with the same clan markings.

"Don't worry she's my sister, " he spoke while taking her hand and leading her up the staircase.

"I never knew you had a-" she was quickly hushed by his mouth plates pressing against hers. She moaned into the kiss, her knees buckling.

His arms wrapped around her waist, taking the zipper of her dress into his talons and pulling it down. The cool air hit her and sent chills down her spine.

Jane shrugged the straps of her dress off her shoulders and it pooled at her feet beneath her heels. All that was left was her underwear. Lace and skimpy, not something that she'd wear normally, but she had planned to go home with someone tonight. Anyone.

"Beautiful," he whispered against her lips. His talon groped her breast. The minor foreplay made her pant into his ear.

He opened his mouth and licked along the side of neck. She loved the way Turian tongue felt. The rough sensation of it was still unfamiliar to her, despite the fact that she'd felt Garrus'.

"Take off your bra and sit on the bed. Legs open," he growled out.

She blushed from the sudden order, but did it with glee. Slowly, she reached her arms behind her back and unclasped her bra, his eyes never once even leaving her. She slipped the straps off and let the clothed item fall to the floor near her feet.

She sat down in the bed. The cushioned item sank beneath her. It was satisfying to feel such a soft bed. With a bit of hesitation, she spread her legs wide. The only thing covering her damp womanhood were her lacy panties.

"I'm going to do more to you than he ever could," he spoke while placing a talon on her thigh, inhaling the scent deeply.

"H-he?" She stuttered, but to no avail.

He looped his claw into her her panties and ripped the fabric away like it was nothing. Throwing the tattered remains across the room.

Krillik wasted no time getting deep into her. His long tongue attacked her clit. She was so surprised by the sudden action that he took.

Moans and pants filled the room. Her toes curled, but it wasn't enough and he knew it. He shoved a talon deep inside of her, moving it to find her g-spot while he continued nibble at her clit. His mouth lapped up the moisture that was dripping from her, his teeth and his tongue helped stimulate her pink rose petal lips.

"Krillik, more!" She said anxiously.

With a nod, he pulled his finger away from her wet core and pushed his rough tongue in its place. She howled out in pure pleasure and ecstasy. He tongued her g-spot with no hesitation. Her back was arched, and her fingernails dug into the bed sheets.

"I need you, Shepard," he stood from his knees and pulled down his pants, "I want to make you feel amazing. "

His plates shifted and his hard cock emerged. Red, just like the color of his eyes. He stroked it while watching, a moaning and panting mess against his bed.

He rubbed the head against her entrance, opening her lips the lips a bit. He smirked at her as he used it to tease her clit before slowly pushing it into her entrance.

She bit her lip to hold back moan while he fully slid it into her. Her hips twitched slightly, the pleasure was too intense and he hadn't even started moving.

"Please," She panted.

"With pleasure," he chuckled, while reaching down and taking her cherry pink bud nipple into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it.

His thrust were deep, slow, and passionate. He grunted against her breast each time he filled her core, but she was a mess. Panting and clawing at the bed just from this dimple amount of pleasure.

Krillik loved her reactions. He increased his pace just to hear more of her beautiful moans. Her back was arched against him so her hard buds rubbed against his rough plating, stimulating them in a way that would be bad later.

She arched her hips up, feeling that knot in her stomach that meant release was soon to come, "Krillik, I'm cumming! I'm cumming!" She howled out when she felt the knot burst and a rush of ecstasy break through her.

Thus only made his pace quicken and her sensitive womanhood ache with pleasure. He held her leg tight to keep her in place, thrusting in and out and hitting all of her spots on the way.

Her first orgasm was nothing compared to what he did to her afterwards. Switching her position and lying her in her stomach. He lifted her supple ass into the air and thrust his way back in.

"Say my name Shepard!" He shouted over the sound of the creaking bed beneath her and her loud moans, "Say it so everyone knows who gave you this!"

She was at a struggle for words. All the pleasure was making it hard for her to form any, but she still tried, "K-krillik!" She said meekly and his pace increased.

The bed slammed against the wall hard with each thrust he took and she was barely holding in another mind blowing orgasm as is. He kept hitting that same spot deep within her that made pleasure ripple through her entire body.

"Louder! I want to hear you scream it so you never forget!"

"Krillik! Krillik!" She chanted between moans. Her toes curled and her nails were practically ripping holes in the sheets beneath her. His talons dug into her hips, helping him plunge into her hard enough to force her to climax again.

She gasped and panted, expecting a short rest before he decided to go again. She was wrong. He turned her on her side and placed one of her legs on his shoulders, thrust deep.

Jane nearly howled out, her lower half was already beginning to go numb from the merciless pounding he was dishing out at her.

His stamina was incredible, but even she could feel that he was close from the way he gripped her ankle tight. He started to speed up against, placing one of his taloned hands against her clit and rubbing it while she trusted.

She was feeling unspeakable amounts of pleasure all over her body. He thrust into her one last time, growling as he did, before he started to cum. Pulling out and letting the warm liquid stain her chest and stomach.

"Krillik, that was-" she was quickly hushed by a tongue being forced into her mouth, swirling around her.

"I'm better than him, right Jane?" He panted out when he pulled away.


	8. Chapter 8

"Leaving so soon?" He questioned the day after. It was relatively early, but she'd fallen asleep in his bed. She bet the crew was just absolutely worried, Shepard wasn't the most punctual person on earth, but she surely wouldn't stay gone for a whole night.

"Sorry, but my crew needs me," she wished that she could've stayed a little longer. He was such a kind person, but it wasn't for the best.

"You've saved the galaxy how many times? Take a little break,"

She shook her head and picked up her heels from the floor. Not putting them on, but holding them so they wouldn't be forgotten, "No can do, Krillik, maybe another time."

He quickly stood from the bed, his bed sheets being the only thing that covered his lower plating. He placed a talon on her cheek and kissed her, long and passionate, or at least that's what he wanted. She was quick to pull away from the sign of intimacy.

"Y-your scent isn't hard to withstand anymore. His smell is still there, but now, I can smell me more than anything else," he took a long deep breath of her hair and sighed out, smiling hard above her.

"I've...gotta go," she said, quickly pulling away from his hold and down the stairs.

"Long night, huh?" Kasumi asked as she sat at the bar. She sad, tired, and rather lonely, but instead if venting about her unspeakable amount of problems, she merely just nodded as a response, "Yeah, I can tell. You're not wearing any panties."

"I know, Kasumi," she groaned out and took another sip of her drink. What was she doing here, drinking away her sorrow while the man she had strong feelings for was probably worried sick about her?

She couldn't face him. Not because of what he did, but because of what she had just done. She went out and slept with someone else, and seeing as it was another Turian was only adding salt to the wound. What she did was petty, and she knew it, but in the heat of moment things were different. Garrus was a villain, out to ruin her life and for once she was the damsel in distress. Krillik came along, just your average superhero, and saved her life. Or at least, that's what it felt like.

There was an explanation behind what Garrus did, but she was caught up in so much anger that she couldn't find a way to care, and now that she'd stooped down to the lowest level, she knew that she was wrong.

She exited the Lounge and walked over to Life Support. The door stayed unlocked, even though there wasn't much of a use for it after Thane's passing, but it felt as though he was still there at times.

In a moment like this she would come to Thane for his wisdom and advice. He was like the father that she could reach easier than her own, by merely walking down a few steps and going into this room.

It still smelled like the candles he burned when he meditated. A sweet smell of vanilla, he said it helped relax the mind.

She sat in the chair across from his, the one she'd sit in all the time when she came to chat with him. Jane had a high respect for objects of the dead, she felt as though if she disturbed them, she would disturb the spirit that was attached to it too, even though she knew that Thane was already across the sea right now, with his late wife.

"Hey, Thane, it's been awhile huh?" She spoke to the silence, like she'd done many times before after his death, "I bet you're across the sea, looking over at me, and face palming. I know I know, I'm an idiot. You could tell me if you wanted to."

She clasped her hands in a praying motion, as she'd seen him do time and time again, "What do I say to him, Thane? I know you're not the most romantic person in the Galaxy, but when it came to advice, you we're the person to go to. I bet you want me to be honest right? You want me to own up for my mistakes. You always believed that honesty was the best way to go. I'll tell him, I'll tell him everything,"She stood from her chair and smiled into the air, " Thanks for listening, Thane, I'll miss you."

As soon as she spoke those words the doors opened and a highly upset Garrus stood in the doorway, "I was worried."

The words stabbed into her chest like a knife and made her body ripple with pain. She merely nodded though, not sure of what else to say.

"Garrus, I-"

He sniffed the air loudly, "What's that smell?"

"Uh, Vanilla?"

"No! Not that one!" He walked close to her and grabbed her by the shoulder, taking a deep inhale of her body, "Who have you been with?"

She froze entirely, "H-how did you know?"

"Superior sense of smell," he growled, "Now answer me!"

"I just got so upset over everything you did Garrus. The bonding and the lying about it-"

"How do you know about that?"

"I have a Kasumi,"

"Listen, Garrus, I'm sorry. Last night I just….I just couldn't function properly. I went out to the club on the citadel and I talked to that Turian bartender, the one who gives me free drinks, we talked, and he took me back up to his room and we-," she trailed off a bit, "I'm sorry for what I did. I know it was wrong. I am so so sorry."

He placed his forehead against hers and nuzzled it slightly, releasing a few soft purrs, "I was in the wrong here, Jane, and we know it. If it weren't for you finding out about the fake accidental bonding, I probably would've never told you."

"And if it weren't for Thane, I probably wouldn't have owned up for Krillik."

"Thane?" He questioned.

"Nothing nothing, we should leave now, and arrange a time to meet up and talk about it later," she suggested.

He nodded and left Life support, the door shutting quickly behind him.

"You always know exactly what to do, Thane," she spoke to the air again, but just as she was about to leave she heard a soft thud behind her.

She turned back and looked at the empty room behind her, the only difference now being one of Thane's candles lying on the floor instead of on the self like it usually was.

She held back a little smile as she picked it up and held it close to her chest, "I won't use it until I absolutely need it, thank you again, Thane."

She closed the door to Life Support and smiled, taking a large whiff of the vanilla scented candle, she walked to the elevator a lot happier now.


	9. Chapter 9

Her hand shook as she pressed the glass up to her lips. Taking a single sip of the burning liquid. The ice clinked against the side of the cup, that sound being the only noise to fill this silent room.

She'd taken a shower. A long hot one to help get Krillik's smell off if her. She scrubbed every inch of her body, especially the places she knew he'd touched.

She heard the door chime and she nearly jumped out of her seat. Jane took one deep breath before opening the door and staring at the male before her. There were no words spoken as he walked past her and in her room, sitting on the corner of her bed.

"I'm sorry," he murmured when she sat down beside him. She placed a hand loosely on his carapace, the gentle touch letting him know she was there, "Look what I did Jane. I ruined everything."

She pursed her lips, not knowing how to respond, "Garrus I-"

He pressed a taloned finger up to her lips, making her words stop in their tracks. Their eyes locked and he lowered his hand to her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. She slid a bit closer to him, already feeling his body heat against her. It was nice. Calming.

"Jane. I love you,"

She felt her lips curve into a smile as she rested her head on his chest, absorbing his warmth. Those words were all she wished to hear. She closed her eyes and sighed. She knew she was in the wrong too.

"About the other Turian…" she trailed off when she felt his claws digging into her shoulder.

"It's fine," he growled out through clenched teeth.

"We'll have to talk about this even-"

"Was he better than me?"

She looked up at him in confusion,"What?"

"You heard me," he sighed, "Did he make you feel better than I do."

"Garrus, I barely even remember being with you that night!" She protested and she felt his hand slip under her shirt.

"Then let's do this again,"

His talons were warm, but even then, she released an unintentional squeal. She looked up and met his face, his icy blue eyes were full of determination, lust, and a bit of sadness.

He leaned down a bit, still slightly towering over her, and lightly kissed and licked along the side of her neck. She shivered when he felt his rough, dry tongue grazing over the now healed scar. Did he have intentions to make a new one?

To her dismay, he pulled her shirt over her head and slowly lead her to the bed, letting her fall back first into the cushioned surface. He crawled on top of her with a slow, teasing pace, making her gulp with a bit of anxiousness. He was like a beast getting ready to devour her prey, and scarily, she was the prey.

Low growls escaped his mouth as he licked up from her bellybutton to her breast, making her release soft, hitched breaths. He pulled her bra between his sharp teeth and ripped the piece of fabric away with ease, tossing it aimlessly across the room.

Her nipples hardened quickly when exposed to the cold atmosphere. Shepard's cheeks flushed as she watched Garrus lick around the bud, not taking it into his mouth. She nearly cried out, pleading for him to end this meaningless teasing and make her feel good.

Garrus raised a brow plate while watching Shepard pant and moan for more. Smirking, he reached his talon down, before having his wrist grabbed and squeezed by Shepard's petite hand.

"G-garrus, you don't have to do this!" She spoke through gritted teeth. His eyes met hers, taking in their uneasiness.

"But I do! My pride! My honor! My Shepard! Someone else touched my Shepard!"

She sat up and rested a hand on his cheek, tracing the clan markings with her fingertips. Her lips pursed slightly as she held back a giggle, "I want you to do this because you love me, not as some silly challenge. Trust me, you already won."

His mandibles fluttered as his neck turned a dark shade of blue. He placed both hands on her shoulders and pushed his mouth firmly against hers into a passionate kiss. He could feel her lips curve into a smile beneath his, making him only wish to do more.

Slowly, so not to mess anything up, his hand reached down into the cloth that covered her womanhood. He looped his finger into the fabric and gently lifted her body to reach beneath her and pull it away.

He felt her shiver. He needed to warm her up. The last thing he needed was his beloved uncomfortable.

Garrus licked and kisses alongside of her neck, gliding her back onto the bed while spreading her legs. His member pressed against her entrance, teasing her ever so slightly. He pushed in slowly, her warm, wet walls almost gave him a sense of comfort.

Her eyes were shut tight while he thrust inside her. Slow, but deep. Just enough to give her all the pleasure she needed and more. Her mouth stayed open as soft pants and moans fell from it.

"Garrus~" She called softly, just beneath her breath. The tone of her voice edged him on. The sounds of her pleasure made him only want to do more.

His talons gripped her thighs tight, lifting her legs just up to his shoulders to reach the deepest parts of her. She mewled from the pleasure. He watched as her long fingernails dug into the white bedsheets, nearly ripping them.

Garrus stared at the fading scar in her neck. She turned her head to the side, almost as if she wanted him to see it and give her a fresh new one. He resisted the urge, but his need to do it only got worse with each thrust and each call of his name.

She reached both hands up and placed them on his shoulders, her nails dug into his carapace, making him grunt.

"I-I'm-" she stuttered as her toes curled and hips shivered. Her felt her walls clench around him. Her eyes squeezed shut. She trembled ever so slightly.

Garrus couldn't hold back any longer, just as he watched her on the peak of her orgasm, he leaned down and sunk his teeth into her neck. Her moan of pleasure, quickly slipped to pain, then pleasure again, and then something in-between. Her body was tense, yet still shivering beneath him.

He felt his release coming soon. Making him increase his speed. Shepard lay tired, but still moaning.

He grunted as he released, pulling out and letting it stain the sheets. When he looked back up at her, her eyes had closed and her chest rose and feel at a steady pace. She'd fallen asleep so quickly. It was cute.

He tucked her in and contemplated on sleeping next to her. Deciding to go for it, he slid under the blankets next to her and closed his eyes.

A sudden warmth engulfed him. She'd wrapped her arms around him while she slept. He smiled, wrapping his arm around her waist and kissing her forehead the Turian way. Her watched those beautiful pink lips curve into a smile, just before falling asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

   She awoke with his arm still draped tightly around her. It was quiet, peaceful, and yet inside her head, she was having a breakdown. She looked over and watched her table side lamp flicker. She was trying to suppress those thoughts, it wasn't working. The flickering of the lamp was only making her more anxious. 

 

   The night before felt like a bit of blur, but it was a blur that she remembered all too well. She slept with Krillik, she left the next morning, then she talked to Thane. After talking to Thane, she finally called Garrus for a talk as well, then he got jealous and they had sex. The play of events was confusing to her. She expected him to be angrier. She was angry with herself. He didn't deserve that, no matter how much he said he was okay with it. 

 

   She began to feel a bit sick to the stomach. It'd been a long time since she'd felt this was, so nervous she was almost at the point of vomiting. Everything happened so quickly the night before, she couldn't speak. She wanted to apologise so so bad, but she couldn't think of what to say. Now she had a bit of time to think. 

 

   Jane had hurt him. She knew that. She hurt him and then she hurt him again, then he blamed himself for it. She exhaled hard. What as she to do? She needed to think, to breath, most importantly, she needed to talk with him. But what could she say? 

 

_ I'm sorry, I only slept with another man because I was angry with you. But it's okay, because I forgive you now. _

 

__ She knew that was harsh and it blamed him even more. She was the one to blame, but he also played a part in this. Shepard knew she made an agreement, to love and cherish him, to marry him someday, but she was hurt, and not thinking straight, and more than a little bit desperate.

 

    She exhaled and slowly pushed his arm away, sitting up and letting her bare feet touch the cold floor. Clothes were scattered everywhere, the room looked a mess. She glanced at her empty glass on her desk, the ice had melted as the night went on, so the glass was only filled with water now. 

 

   Walking to the bathroom, she let her hand ease the door open, and she starred in the mirror. This reminded her of their first night together. Waking up after a dilemma with fresh scars all over her body, and a bite mark on her neck. She smiled. All she could think to do was smile. Somehow, even with all that happened, her body recognized that night as a good memory. Likely because it was her first night with Garrus, a night she didn't remember much of tragically.

 

    She heard the bed creak and she jumped. He was awake, and she have to face him again. She splashed some cold water against her face, jolting herself awake, then she stepped out to see him.

 

   She was greeted by a large turian male, with a blanket draped over his bare lap. His icy blue eyes staring at her. She was experiencing one of the worst cases of deja vu, but she ignored it.

 

    “Good morning, Jane,” he spoke. His voice just after waking up, never ceased to send shivers down her spine. It had such a harsh feel to it. After hearing it, she was sure that she was awake.

 

    “Garrus, we need to talk,” she stated.

 

    “Did I do something?”

 

    She sighed, “No,” she wasn't able to look him in the eye. She could feel the lump in her throat again and she knew that if she spoke, her voice would quiver and break, “I did something wrong, Garrus.”

 

    A stream of tears rushed down her face as she spoke and she wasn't able to hold back a sob. Her face felt like it was on fire, and she knew that her cheeks had turned a bright shade of red. 

 

  Within seconds, Garrus was already running to comfort her. His strong arms tightly wrapped themselves around her, engulfing her in a sense of warmth that she knew she did not deserve, not right now, but even still, she nuzzled into him more.

 

   “I'm so sorry,” she said between sobs, a hiccup after every word, “You didn't deserve that.”

 

   With shaky breath, she leaned in deeper into his chest. Feel the rough of his plates against her cheek and hearing him exhale, rubbing circles on her back.

 

   “I am upset,” he said, his voice almost sounded a bit monotone to her.

 

   “I know,” she hiccuped again.

 

    “But I know that you're upset too. And you have every right to be. We can talk things out.”

 

   “But I cheated,” she sobbed even more as she actually spoke the words, somehow unable to contain herself.

 

   “And I lied, Jane, and I kept lying, right to your face,”

 

     “But I agreed to be with you,”

 

    “Only after you knew we were stuck together,”

 

    “I'm so so sorry,”

 

     “I'm sorry too,”

 

    Tears died down, but she still had hitched breaths. She didn't break from his hold though. They just stood there, together. It was quiet, but she didn't mind. She took the time to think about last night. About how Garrus took the blame for it all, about how good he was compared to the other man. She was almost ready to so some more, but she held this one back, afraid to ruin the silence.

 

  He rested his head atop hers and just inhaled her scent. She always had such a nice smell. Something about was amazing to witness. It was a bit tainted though, by the smell of another man. He couldn't shake the overwhelming sense of pain he felt when he noticed that. He was trying to protect his ego. Trying to make himself look better the night before. He was afraid that after she found out about his lies, she would try to leave him, finding out about that other turian was just icing on the cake, as the humans say.

 

   He felt like he was the one to blame. He lied to her and put her in an unbreakable bond. She had every right to be angry, but he just wanted to hold on, never to let go. He would apologise for years and years if he had to, and she would as well, he knew she'd never forgive herself.

 

    He slowly led her back to the bed and sat her down. He finally took a look at her face. Her eyes were swollen and her nose and cheeks were red. She looked like a mess, but he knew that if he were in her situation, he'd be no better. 

 

   Taking the empty glass from her desk, he went to fill it with water. The only thing he could think to do when he saw someone losing liquids, was to give them more.

 

  She took the glass and took large gulps of water. The cool liquid running down her throat. She couldn't believe just how dehydrated she felt. She wasn't even paying attention to how dry her mouth got. She felt so much better after the refreshment. Jane wondered how he knew that she was thirsty, or if he even knew. She didn't care, it was the thought that counted.

 

    “So…” she trailed off. She had begun to speak, but words were missing. She knew what she wanted to say, but she couldn't say it. Like, they had just floated away from her train of thought.

 

   He glanced at her and flashed her a smile. His smiles were so charming, she couldn't help but to smile back. Then she turned her gaze to her glass. Moving the cup side to side and watching the water follow her movements.

 

    Speak, she shouted at herself, say something.

 

    “That cake you bought me on my birthday,” she started, “it was my favorite. My mom would buy it for me.”

 

    “Really, I just thought all cake was the same,” he chuckled.

 

   “Turians don't buy cakes for birthdays?” She asked, finally taking the time to look at them.

 

   “The only time we truly celebrate, is when we're old enough for the military, other than that, we don't acknowledge birthdays,”

 

    “I thought every species celebrated their birthday,”

 

    “I guess humans are special,”

 

      She chuckled, taking another sip of her water, “you're special.”

 

     She spoke those words without thinking, and yet she truly meant it. Garrus was special to her. She loved him.

 

   The room fell into silence again and she looked at Garrus through her peripheral. He was still smiling like the idiot he was, staring at the ground. 

 

    “I want to apologise again, Jane,”

 

    “I do too,” she said, “I honestly don't think I can't apologise enough for what I've done, or if you can even forgive me.”

 

    “I forgive you,”

 

    “You shouldn't!” she snapped, “I was wrong!”

 

    “I was too,” he stated.

 

    She surprised at how calm he was with the situation. Him keeping a level head made her deepen her breathing, and calm herself slightly.

 

   “Is this a bad time to ask if you'd like to go out again?”

 

    She chuckled and shook her head, “Are you sure you'd like to go out with me?”

 

    “I'd love to, more than anything,” he grasped her hand between his talons, “let's just stay far away from bars, okay?”

 

    “Yeah,”

 

     “So, I should go, huh?”

 

    Her eyes shot up to his face, surprised, “No, why?”

    “I've gotta clean up, and get back to work. Pls I'm starving. We can spend time together later, but for now, I think we need thinking room.”

    “Thinking room, sounds about right. Will you be back soon?”  

 

   “As soon as I can be, we've got mission to do, we can stress about our love life later, huh?”

 

    “This isn't just you're way of trying to leave an ignore me is it?”

 

    “I just asked you out on a date, I won't go anywhere,”

 

    “Promise?” She held up her pinky.

 

     “What is this for?” He said, glancing at her finger in confusing.

 

      “A pinky promise, Garrus, wrap your pinky around mine so we can lock the promise.”

 

     He placed his smallest finger around her pinky, she took not of how his fingers felt when he wasn't wearing gloves.

 

     “Let's promise to stay together, but to start fresh. Promise?” She asked.

  
     “I promise.”


End file.
